For those women with a different experience of motherhood and mothering

HeartFor my sisters and I it is our 6th Mother’s Day without our dear mother. Mother’s Day used to make me really angry – I begrudged those who were still able to celebrate with their mums – but right now, all it does is make me really teary.

I really feel like Mother’s Day is held up in society as a day of celebrating mums as the ultimate in womanhood and femininity. But for so many it can be a source of tension, those who don’t have mothers, only dads or no parents at all. Those who’s mums have passed on like me. Those who are separated from their mothers or their children like those in gaol or detention, or separated by roads, seas, conflicts and borders. Those who are adoptees and may have a different sense of what a mother is. And especially those women who aren’t able to experience motherhood and would really like to.

We really should be celebrating all kinds of versions of motherhood and also what it means for the child to have a mother, whatever that looks like for them whether it is typical or not. For me right now Mother’s Day is all about my friends and family who want to be mothers, but are for whatever reason unable. Today, you have all my love <3

 

First Draft

Something I started writing, but I haven’t finished…

Rugged + Raw (Untitled) by Eugenia Flynn

I will set your world on fire
I ain’t no girl on fire
I ain’t no Queen

I am your King

The feminine divine,
does not define

I am your King

I do not accept your Queendom
Your language, limited
Twisted to say that King and He places no gender
Yet you dare to call me a Queen?

And that’s all I have for now…

The Racism Post – I’m calling you all out!

People don’t like to talk about racism. They don’t like to admit it when they are and they don’t like it when people call racism. In fact these people who get uncomfortable, when faced with a call of racism will often go on the defensive and claim political correctness, espousing how it is the end of Australia. This seems to be a common reaction for many people in Australia and in fact, Australia as a whole hates the ‘R’ word so much that on the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, Australians celebrate the very non-confrontational ‘Harmony Day’.

For self-preservation, I try to avoid all forms of racism on social media – pretty much because the place is FULL OF IT. Lately, however, I’ve been a bit more confrontational about it all and my reaction usually depends on the exposure (therefore how many people I can educate), how much I care about the person to educate them, or if I want to just delete them out of my sphere and not deal with it. Recently, I have deleted the following people:

  • One Muslim sister on FB who thought it was hilarious that her daughter wanted to be “white again” after getting a tan and proceeded to laugh with her friends that her husband is “full Indian” or even calling him “Chris Rock” (way to teach your daughter that being dark is a bad thing and that it’s so hilarious to be a dark-skinned Indian or Black like Chris Rock);
  • UPDATE: I have since been informed that this is a quote from Southpark (
    http://www.racialicious.com/2012/05/02/a-historical-guide-to-hipster-racism/
    ).
    One Muslim sister on Instagram who posted a photo of a Mexican restaurant she went to with a caption that read: “I’m Jennifer Lopez and I love Burritos and Tacos!” (or something like that, I’ve since deleted her so I can’t see it anymore, suffice to say it is not only an offensive post but incredibly stupid as Jennifer Lopez is not even Mexican); and
  • UPDATE: The sister involved has advised that she is not a racist and that this is an inside joke with a friend who never says delicious properly and always says derricious (yes, you read that correctly). One Muslim sister on Instagram who posted a photo of food she had eaten a Chinese Restaurant with comments underneath in a stereotypical faux Asian accent – “Derricious!” (or something to that effect – again I deleted and can no longer see it; I gently challenged what she wrote and received no response, so I deleted her).

As I have come to sadly resign myself to, this theme with Muslims continued with Australia Day being a day when racist Muslims and their slightly less culpable (questionably) counterparts, the ignorant Muslims, came out of the wood work in droves. Alongside what has become a staple of Australia Day propaganda about how great Multiculturalism works in Australia and what a great nation we are without any race problems (also known as the Australian-flag-hijab-photograph), I saw these ridiculous postings all over the place:

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^^ This guy is a public figure – a Muslim comedian who has a lot of followers and fans on social media. I cannot believe he posted up this drivel! I notice that he deleted it and then posted up something more mild:

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Sorry mate, but I already screenshotted your original ignorant post and I can see straight through your fakeness. The irony of the replacement post is amazing as he tells people off for pretending to be revolutionaries when he originally stated “STRAYA C***S!!” (bogan-speak for praising Australia) and then says “I don’t celebrate today…”

Then there was this by an actual organisation, my response and then the ignorant response by another Muslim who just DOES NOT GET IT:

IICSA

*sigh* and then there was this epically arrogant exchange between myself and someone who is somewhat a “leader” in the Muslim community in Adelaide. I did lose my temper toward the end, but wow the arrogance. And note, how he did NOT stop his friend (this was on his Facebook, so the person was not someone I knew, but his Facebook friend) from making INCREDIBLY racist remarks to me.

His original post:

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My response:

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Someone tried to engage me in a proper debate about my thoughts, but then there was this guy who went in on the racist drivel:

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So it was doubly distressing to read the brother’s lacklustre response that really says nothing when his friend is making incredibly racist remarks and he says nothing but this:

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I had already explained that the day is the date of invasion and therefore akin to the date Israel was created for the Palestineans, so I got mad in the face of this lack of acknowledgement, coupled with the intense racism (there was more racist drivel but I’ve decided not to post it) and posted this (only to get more jibes from the racist):

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…and then there was this incredibly arrogant and infuriating response. I guess some people, despite constantly posting about Palestine, in their effort to suck up to White Australia, just don’t get it (he even used the term ‘Settlers’):

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And, unfortunately, it didn’t really stop here for me. Australia Day was closely followed by the Anthony Mundine Vs Daniel Geale boxing match. For people who don’t know, Anthony Mundine is a very outspoken Aboriginal athlete who can be very arrogant and often shoots off at the mouth. The thing about him though, is that he is a community person, he is very much embedded in the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander community and he often expresses thoughts that many Indigenous Australians agree with – e.g. calling out racism and more. This makes him wildly unpopular in the wider Australian community and the media. Geale, as another Aboriginal boxer, was on the receiving end of some very unsavoury remarks from Mundine about his Aboriginality and the fact that he is from Tasmania. Mundine was completely racist against his own and a lot of Aboriginal people were mad at him about it.

So anyway, in this context, Mundine made comments about boycotting the Australian Anthem and Flag at the upcoming bout, which of course, set all the racists off (note: this does not include other people who do not agree with his comments but can keep racist comments and thoughts out of it – I respect diverse opinions). Anyway, Mundine lost to Geale and everyone has an opinion on it. I posted up on Facebook and Twitter:

Mixed feelings about last night. I was going for Geale because I thought he’d have the fire after the comments Mundine slung at him, but when Mundine lost I realised that deep down I thought he would win and I wanted him to. I hate that people are so vitriolic against Mundine because of his comments – yes they may not always ring true to me personally, but at least he is fearless and he has great pride in being Aboriginal. I mean, really Geale, what’s with the Australian flag? I was against you being co-opted by racists last night, but it seems like you may have opted in yourself there!

This is a sampling of the response I got from my Twitter, which is open to the public:

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(Thanks for your intelligent and respectful debate Atomic Dog!)

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(Yes he was racist against me as a Black person, made Islamaphobic remarks about my ‘cape’ aka my hijab and was incredibly sexist and disgusting – a triple insult! Interestingly he deleted his profile after he wrote this or maybe blocked me – the VERY definition of gutless – hiding behind a Twitter profile and then deleting yourself after making an incredibly disgusting post. I like how he tried to insult my intellect by using the term ‘essay’ – one can only assume because he feels inadequate about his own intelligence so felt the need to attack mine!)

Anyway, just wanted to expose these people. And as a parting jab, take a look at this example of White Privilege during a discussion about how you cannot say who is a ‘good’ Aboriginal and who is a ‘bad’ Aboriginal, just as much as you can’t say who is more Aboriginal based on blood quotient:

Samsara

And there you have folks! Delete, delete delete – racists be gone from my social media!

P.s. sorry if the pics aren’t clear - not sure why they aren’t coming out clear enough to read easily!