I really feel like Mother’s Day is held up in society as a day of celebrating mums as the ultimate in womanhood and femininity. But for so many it can be a source of tension, those who don’t have mothers, only dads or no parents at all. Those who’s mums have passed on like me. Those who are separated from their mothers or their children like those in gaol or detention, or separated by roads, seas, conflicts and borders. Those who are adoptees and may have a different sense of what a mother is. And especially those women who aren’t able to experience motherhood and would really like to.

We really should be celebrating all kinds of versions of motherhood and also what it means for the child to have a mother, whatever that looks like for them whether it is typical or not. For me right now Mother’s Day is all about my friends and family who want to be mothers, but are for whatever reason unable. Today, you have all my love <3

Rugged + Raw (Untitled) by Eugenia Flynn

I will set your world on fire
I ain’t no girl on fire
I ain’t no Queen

I am your King

The feminine divine,
does not define

I am your King

I do not accept your Queendom
Your language, limited
Twisted to say that King and He places no gender
Yet you dare to call me a Queen?

—

And that’s all I have for now…

For self-preservation, I try to avoid all forms of racism on social media – pretty much because the place is FULL OF IT. Lately, however, I’ve been a bit more confrontational about it all and my reaction usually depends on the exposure (therefore how many people I can educate), how much I care about the person to educate them, or if I want to just delete them out of my sphere and not deal with it. Recently, I have deleted the following people:

• One Muslim sister on FB who thought it was hilarious that her daughter wanted to be “white again” after getting a tan and proceeded to laugh with her friends that her husband is “full Indian” or even calling him “Chris Rock” (way to teach your daughter that being dark is a bad thing and that it’s so hilarious to be a dark-skinned Indian or Black like Chris Rock);
• UPDATE: I have since been informed that this is a quote from Southpark (http://www.racialicious.com/2012/05/02/a-historical-guide-to-hipster-racism/). One Muslim sister on Instagram who posted a photo of a Mexican restaurant she went to with a caption that read: “I’m Jennifer Lopez and I love Burritos and Tacos!” (or something like that, I’ve since deleted her so I can’t see it anymore, suffice to say it is not only an offensive post but incredibly stupid as Jennifer Lopez is not even Mexican); and
• UPDATE: The sister involved has advised that she is not a racist and that this is an inside joke with a friend who never says delicious properly and always says derricious (yes, you read that correctly). One Muslim sister on Instagram who posted a photo of food she had eaten a Chinese Restaurant with comments underneath in a stereotypical faux Asian accent – “Derricious!” (or something to that effect – again I deleted and can no longer see it; I gently challenged what she wrote and received no response, so I deleted her).

As I have come to sadly resign myself to, this theme with Muslims continued with Australia Day being a day when racist Muslims and their slightly less culpable (questionably) counterparts, the ignorant Muslims, came out of the wood work in droves. Alongside what has become a staple of Australia Day propaganda about how great Multiculturalism works in Australia and what a great nation we are without any race problems (also known as the Australian-flag-hijab-photograph), I saw these ridiculous postings all over the place:

^^ This guy is a public figure – a Muslim comedian who has a lot of followers and fans on social media. I cannot believe he posted up this drivel! I notice that he deleted it and then posted up something more mild:

Sorry mate, but I already screenshotted your original ignorant post and I can see straight through your fakeness. The irony of the replacement post is amazing as he tells people off for pretending to be revolutionaries when he originally stated “STRAYA C***S!!” (bogan-speak for praising Australia) and then says “I don’t celebrate today…”

Then there was this by an actual organisation, my response and then the ignorant response by another Muslim who just DOES NOT GET IT:

*sigh* and then there was this epically arrogant exchange between myself and someone who is somewhat a “leader” in the Muslim community in Adelaide. I did lose my temper toward the end, but wow the arrogance. And note, how he did NOT stop his friend (this was on his Facebook, so the person was not someone I knew, but his Facebook friend) from making INCREDIBLY racist remarks to me.

His original post:

My response:

Someone tried to engage me in a proper debate about my thoughts, but then there was this guy who went in on the racist drivel:

So it was doubly distressing to read the brother’s lacklustre response that really says nothing when his friend is making incredibly racist remarks and he says nothing but this:

I had already explained that the day is the date of invasion and therefore akin to the date Israel was created for the Palestineans, so I got mad in the face of this lack of acknowledgement, coupled with the intense racism (there was more racist drivel but I’ve decided not to post it) and posted this (only to get more jibes from the racist):

…and then there was this incredibly arrogant and infuriating response. I guess some people, despite constantly posting about Palestine, in their effort to suck up to White Australia, just don’t get it (he even used the term ‘Settlers’):

And, unfortunately, it didn’t really stop here for me. Australia Day was closely followed by the Anthony Mundine Vs Daniel Geale boxing match. For people who don’t know, Anthony Mundine is a very outspoken Aboriginal athlete who can be very arrogant and often shoots off at the mouth. The thing about him though, is that he is a community person, he is very much embedded in the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander community and he often expresses thoughts that many Indigenous Australians agree with – e.g. calling out racism and more. This makes him wildly unpopular in the wider Australian community and the media. Geale, as another Aboriginal boxer, was on the receiving end of some very unsavoury remarks from Mundine about his Aboriginality and the fact that he is from Tasmania. Mundine was completely racist against his own and a lot of Aboriginal people were mad at him about it.

So anyway, in this context, Mundine made comments about boycotting the Australian Anthem and Flag at the upcoming bout, which of course, set all the racists off (note: this does not include other people who do not agree with his comments but can keep racist comments and thoughts out of it – I respect diverse opinions). Anyway, Mundine lost to Geale and everyone has an opinion on it. I posted up on Facebook and Twitter:

Mixed feelings about last night. I was going for Geale because I thought he’d have the fire after the comments Mundine slung at him, but when Mundine lost I realised that deep down I thought he would win and I wanted him to. I hate that people are so vitriolic against Mundine because of his comments – yes they may not always ring true to me personally, but at least he is fearless and he has great pride in being Aboriginal. I mean, really Geale, what’s with the Australian flag? I was against you being co-opted by racists last night, but it seems like you may have opted in yourself there!

This is a sampling of the response I got from my Twitter, which is open to the public:

(Thanks for your intelligent and respectful debate Atomic Dog!)

(Yes he was racist against me as a Black person, made Islamaphobic remarks about my ‘cape’ aka my hijab and was incredibly sexist and disgusting – a triple insult! Interestingly he deleted his profile after he wrote this or maybe blocked me – the VERY definition of gutless – hiding behind a Twitter profile and then deleting yourself after making an incredibly disgusting post. I like how he tried to insult my intellect by using the term ‘essay’ – one can only assume because he feels inadequate about his own intelligence so felt the need to attack mine!)

Anyway, just wanted to expose these people. And as a parting jab, take a look at this example of White Privilege during a discussion about how you cannot say who is a ‘good’ Aboriginal and who is a ‘bad’ Aboriginal, just as much as you can’t say who is more Aboriginal based on blood quotient:

And there you have folks! Delete, delete delete – racists be gone from my social media!

P.s. sorry if the pics aren’t clear - not sure why they aren’t coming out clear enough to read easily!

Cornel West Explains Why It Bothers Him That Obama Will Be Taking The Oath With MLK’s Bible

Freedom is one of those tricky things. Most people view it in a way that is relational to them, their set of circumstances and most importantly to what the media and government tell us freedom is. One of the best tricks that has been pulled over people’s eyes (particularly in ‘the West’) is that we are free. But how free are we? How free are we when Aboriginal people have to live with post-colonial lateral violence, dismal health statistics, regular deaths in custody and more? How free are we when we are constantly in the debt cycle or our right to a house and food can be taken away just because being productive in society means making money? How free are we when our so-called freedom is based largely on the poverty and oppression of others (e.g. those overseas who we bomb in the name of ‘freedom’ and those who we exploit in factories and mines in the name of ‘free’ markets)?

Conclusion: I don’t think we are very free at all…

On my trip back home one thing I was starkly aware of is how WHITE Adelaide is. Sure there are way more visibly Aboriginal people there (which I LOVE because you don’t get that as much in Melbourne), but overwhelmingly Adelaide just has loads and loads of White people and not much diversity in cultural demographic make up – such a contrast to Melbourne.

Catching up with mates really confirmed this for me as I realised how the white-skinned-blonde-haired-thin-bodied ideal is still so much the rage in Adelaide*. I’ve gotta say that even though I know I could stand to lose some weight, I’ve never really had too many issues with confidence based on my appearance – I reckon I’m pretty alright and I try not to compare myself to others. However, there are times when I have compared myself to others and my confidence has wavered. I’ve gotta say that more recently, it’s been when the partners of friends are these thin blonde white women. Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all – these women are lovely and gorgeous and obviously there is love and compatibility there between the couples. I think it’s more the underlying current in society that tells us that the ideal woman is thin, generally blonde and generally white OR that they are women of colour who are hyper sexualised with big titties and big booties (e.g. Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, Shakira, Salma Hayek, that actress from Modern Family whose name I can’t remember, etc.) when conversely I am a modestly dressed woman of colour.

When I visited New York City in 2009, one of the things I noticed there was how I was appreciated physically by the men there (in a non-sleazy way, because as an Asian female, trust me it can get very sleazy). In Adelaide, where I was living at the time, I went largely unnoticed and unappreciated. It was always white girls who dressed in the same cookie-cutter outfits showing off all their assets who got noticed, not me – so it was really nice to see that as a covered woman of colour I was appreciated in a respectful way.

Anyway, the point is, I really hope to quash my last shred of insecurity about my appearance. Sure I want to lose weight for health reasons, and an added bonus is that I will probably look ‘better’ as I will be thinner, but I would like to think that at the end of the day, no matter what, I would be happy to be me, in my skin.

And really though, it IS ultimately about societal shift in what constitutes beauty. Beauty comes from within, being comfortable in your own skin, being true to yourself, dressing up and looking good for your own sake not for others and understanding that bleaching your skin, losing weight, growing taller, dying your hair lighter, putting your ass and titties out and about – none of that is going to help you if you don’t think you are beautiful on the inside.

Peace, love and beauty…

—

* I suppose on some level it is in Melbourne too, but as I said before, in Melbourne, I live in a bubble of like-minded people and networks.

I’m sharing this because I think they are worthwhile thoughts and also well written in a way that I just can’t at the moment as I’m not in the right headspace.

Let me explain a little…

Right now I’m on holiday with my husband back in South Australia and Western Australia. On this trip I am starkly reminded that it feels like when I am in Melbourne, that we live in an alternate universe, that we live in a little bubble with our friends and social network of like minded individuals.

Out here in our home towns it can be confronting. This person gets smacked around by their partner. So and so was locked up for a gang bang that went wrong (um, so you mean a gang rape?). Just saw a woman, naked, getting bashed and kicked by her partner so we dragged her inside the pub to safety and called the cops.

I don’t know. I don’t want to write these things down because it makes a good story, or to gain some kind of credibility through them, or to feed the seemingly insatiable need for graphic stories. In fact, I don’t know about even posting this up because these aren’t really my stories to share and to be honest I really hope no one who knows any of the people reads this and I hope my husband never does either.

So I guess what I’ll do is post up this link to share a little, through my friend, of how I’m feeling about the Delhi gang rape case and in solidarity with the women of India from an Aboriginal Chinese and Muslim woman I’m Australia:

Been sitting with the devastating news of her death

Thanks for writing it Mera – I really appreciate it xoxo

There is a lot of attention around the high-profile cases – the heinous murder of Jill Meagher and the grizzly and horrible murder this week of Sarah Cafferkey.

But the reality is not just about these awful and horrible cases but in the grinding violence which happens day in, day out, in every part of our city and state.   Sadly, the vast majority of violence against women still happens in the home, and is committed by a husband, partner or boyfriend. 

I hope that we see as many people (around 5000 people according to The Age) as we did for Jill Meagher also supporting White Ribbon Day and the many women who suffer violence at the hands of their family members or spouses. Frankly, I feel like it would be completely hypocritical not to.

(Note: the rest of the speech can be read here - but be warned that it contains graphic details of violence against women.)

So sang Stevie Wonder in one of my most favourite songs about the heartache and insecurity of being cheated on – Lately.

Metaphorically doing the same to myself, I desperately wanted to write something about feeling insecure of late, but didn’t have the guts to post to twitter or facebook. In part because my insecurity would be exposed and a lot because I don’t want people to be commenting saying how good I am, trying to talk me up and make me feel better. That just feels like fishing for compliments.

But my feelings are very genuine and won’t go away, so hence here I am, exposing my insecurity here instead.

It’s all complete ego. My nafs in Arabic. At the end of the day I want to feel like my work, my opinions, my self are noticed. At the end of the day that is just wrong and I need to go back to why I do the work I do and what projects I pick up and what I reject.

It’s a fine line between career ambition, motivation and drive and working for the greater good and ultimately for the sake of Allah. One I try to tread carefully by only picking up work that has meaning for me.

I want to see my people free from oppression, but it feels like Indigenous leadership is a game that my career quietly maneuvered me out of. A lot of my friends still play this game and somehow I wonder why and how I don’t anymore. The powers that be never tapped me on the shoulder to join them. It makes me feel like my opinions don’t count.

I believe in the power of art and culture to the strengthen, maintain and create identity for community. I base my employment in community arts and yet somehow it is this incredibly competitive industry that I often feel excluded from. I find that other people in my sector often become aggressively competitive with me and so I take myself out of the competition, become insular and do my work without networking or schmoozing – then I become paranoid and insecure that I am irrelevant in the sector. It’s a vicious cycle.

I strongly believe in the creation of alternative spaces to challenge the mainstream without joining them. Hence my blog in part (although I don’t cultivate this blog very well, do I?). Yet often I am disheartened that others with regular status quo opinions get all the airtime, or even that colleagues with similar opinions get heard and I’m forever the wallflower.

At the end of the day though, it’s all ego. It’s my deep down hope that by putting this stuff in writing and putting it out there I can challenge my ego, my nafs and just go about my work, do good and live well – because at the end of the day I can live well, I am privileged and this is all just “first world problems”. There’s real stuff happening out there – Israel attacking Gaza, people getting tasered to death, stabbing incidents and family to be concerned about…

Khalas. Enough.

• A review of Ilbijerri Theatre’s latest presentation, The Pinjarra Project and Deckchair Theatre’s Bindjareb Pinjarra

Bindjareb Pinjarra is a comedy that crosses cultural divides to bring humour and mirth to an otherwise shameful part of Australian history, written in the history books as the Battle of Pinjarra.

The show provides a history lesson, turning the history books upside down and exploring the reality of the Battle of Pinjarra as it actually was: a massacre of the Nyoongar people at Pinjarra in 1834.

Rather than guilt-inducing or depressing, Bindjareb Pinjarra deals with the sensitive topic appropriately through improvised comedy and physical theatre. Audiences are invited to interact with the performers, causing them to reflect upon their own knowledge of history and ultimately to provide details that are then used in the performance to great comedic relief. Devised scenes demonstrate the strong collaborative process employed by the cast, with humour equally appealing to both Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal audiences alike.

Beginning with a scene that highlights the perspectives of children who do not see colour, Bindjareb Pinjarra then proceeds to weave a story that journeys from the past to the present and back again. This weaving through time subtly allows audiences to draw connections between past atrocities and how these have lasting effects, evidenced in today’s disadvantage amongst Indigenous communities.

Whilst a strong comedic performance throughout, Bindjareb Pinjarra ends with the cast ‘playing out’ the massacre and raising numerous takes on the haunting question of “why?” To further sensitively deal with the audience, the cast members (who are also the co-writers and co-directors of the work – they work in lateral collaboration) end with a Question and Answer session and further invite audiences to informal conversation in the foyer.

All in all, a strong piece that demonstrates how collaborations that see Indigenous and non-Indigenous collaborators on equal standing can provide a high emotional intelligence to the quality and feel of a work. I highly recommend that both Indigenous and non-Indigenous audiences are quick to book tickets so as not to miss out on the short Melbourne season!

Created and performed by Isaac Drandic, Geoff Kelso, Sam Longley, Frank Nannup, Kelton Pell and Phil Thomson, Bindjareb Pinjarra was originally devised and presented by The Pinjarra Project and Deckchair Theatre back in the early 1990s. The Melbourne season of Bindjareb Pinjarra is Ilbijerri Theatre’s latest effort and the first time Ilbijerri has presented an interstate work.

When:

• Thursday 14 June, 1pm & 7pm
• Friday 15 June, 7pm
• Saturday 16 June, 7pm

Where:

• Footscray Community Arts Centre, 45 Moreland Street, Footscray, Victoria

Tickets:

• Students $10, Concession $15, Adults $20
• Book tickets online – www.trybooking.com/BJOA
• Book tickets by phone – 03 9362 8888

Re-imagining reconciliation: where to next?